Saturday, December 26, 2015

Dikoyak Waktu

Aku tak pandai bercinta, aku tak indah bicara. 
Hanya manusia yang mengagumi mu walau takkan pernah memiliki. 
Aku ada didepan mata, aku tetap selalu ada. 
Aku manusia yang mencintakanmu dalam bisu, bersendiri aku. 
Dengan nafas ini ku aturkan langkah menuju dirimu.
Walau ku sedari rasa ini tak mungkin kau kan mengerti, selamanya ku dikoyak waktu. 

Thursday, December 24, 2015


Cut my hair short, almost bald to be precise. You can see the shape of my head. Clearly. Bulat macam telur penyu.

Why? Suatu jenis simbolik I guess.

Simbolik atau metafora abstrak di mana perkara yang aku sayang haruslah dilepaskan namun hati teguh berasa yakin akan kepulangannya di masa akan datang. Those who really know me will understand how much I love my hair. Pi gunting pun cerewet mintak itu ini sampaikan sejam baru habis gunting. But still, it'll grow back. Botak sekarang, panjang lagi dua tiga bulan kot lulz.

Just like you, leaving me astray in this present time. But you'll come back. In shaa Allah.

Or maybe suatu jenis simbolik rebel anak muda yang penuh rasa amarah terhadap keadaan sekeliling. Rasa tidak puas hati terhadap segala perancangan punah dan harapan jatuh menjunam. The inability to foresee the unexpected. How tired and frustrated it feels to keep on clinging onto something or perhaps someone whom unsure of our own fate and destiny.

Heck, it's just hair. An attachment on my head. I can feel the cold breeze seeping through my scalp.

Okay bila nak panjang?

Monday, December 14, 2015


Seringkali aku memejam mata
Igauan lampau mulai menjelma
Terukir perit ingatan lama
Ingin sahaja aku putarkan masa
Namun kau muncul tanpa aku sedar
Untuk aku fahami bahawa
Rupanya kaulah yang sebenar
Zaman berzaman kau membisu
Ungkapkan sahaja mengapa kau diam
Lihat aku berdiri di sini
Aku pasti sesungguhnya pasti
Ini bukan seperti dahulu
Kerana aku yakin
Aku mahu merah itu

Saturday, December 12, 2015


A scar in my heart
The first I've ever got
She was the first and I was dumb enough hoping for her to be the last
I gave my all to pamper the first
We were young and reckless
And she was gone with some other bastard
All she ever gave is a deep scar in my heart

Two scars in my heart
The second was bad enough
A push and pull situation
A person to fill in the gap
She was not the one from the moment I first saw her
But I was blind enough lying to myself, she'll be okay, we'll be okay
And she gave me the second scar, rotten enough to defile my heart

Three scars in my heart
Maybe the third time is a charm
Yeah, maybe
Heck, we're too broken and damaged
Situational victims won't solve a thing
Two time bombs will create too many damages
And that's how I got my third scars

These scars are too deep
They rot and stink
Hoping for you to shine the light
And be my remedy, an elixir to take these pains away
And reset the whole thing
But I can feel the fourth scar
Slowly engraving itself on my heart

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Truth Be Told

Truth be told, I'm so lonely. I always feel so out of place, alienated from others. It's not that I'm an introvert, it's just that I have trouble expressing myself. Whenever I met "the one" whom will hear all of my stories and feelings, she'll left. Well, she already left.

Truth be told, I'm extremely depressed. Trying to find that perfect spot in a sea of humans tend to be so frustrating. I hate whenever my advices got treated like shit as if I mean nothing to the ones that I love. And I smirk evilly when the outcomes of their doing are exactly as I predicted. 

Truth be told, I miss you. Oh how the stars sparkled and shined, I miss those times. Those times when it felt like it's just us against the world. And then you're gone, and it's me all alone against this cruel F-ed up world. 

Truth be told, I'm full of angst. Just give me a solid reason and I'll be done with it. Don't leave me clueless and aimless. It makes me mad knowing nothing especially the truth. And it makes me mad at myself more because whatever reasons that makes you left me astray, must've been because of me. Oh how I keep on wondering evwey single night on which mistakes of mine offended you the most. And how many cusses and disses I spat at myself countless of times because of my wrongdoing in which still a mystery up until now. 

Truth be told, I'm sorry.